Tell Your Story!

I was listening to the radio this morning as I was knee-deep in cow poop (okay, a bit of an exaggeration, but anyway...) and they mentioned that it was National Tell-A-Story Day. Being an author, I was intrigued. So when I finally got all the ick out of my hair, I came upstairs and hopped on the computer. And whatdoyaknow, it is!

There are actually two Tell-A-Story days: one in the US and one in the UK/Scotland. The one in the US is today (April 27th). The other is October 27th. Since I live in the ol' U-S-of-A, that means it's story time! Here's a random memory from my rather strange childhood.

Image courtesy of wikimedia.org

When I was, oh, let's say 12, though I can't really remember, my cousin stopped by the farm to visit. He was old enough to drive at that point and had been driving down one of the busier roads in the area when he came across an odd sight--a mother Canadian goose and her goslings crossing the road. Well, Mommy Dearest took flight and the babies ran off into the bushes. My cousin managed to find two of them and brought them to us. I named them Buster and Goslin (my young mind naturally just assumed that if there were two then one would be a girl and one would be a boy. Logical, right?). My German Shepherd became like a mother to them and we have a picture somewhere of them sleeping right on top of him. We raised them in the house until they were big enough to go up onto the pond. Eventually they both took mates, so there were four on the pond every summer, then one disappeared and left three. Now there are only two, and we're not sure if one is one we raised, but they come back every year, no fail, to raise babies of their own before they head south for winter.


So what's your story? It can be anything. Please share!

What's In A Name?

Hello, my name is Samantha. When you meet someone, what is the first information you usually give them? Your name. Names are such an important part of any culture, in some moreso than others, but everyone has a name of some sort. And all names have meanings.

Samantha: Listener 

I believe I fit my name pretty well. I'm an introvert, so I tend to do a lot more listening than speaking. I've actually been told I'd make a good psychiatrist because of it, but all those classes make me shudder.

My grandmother's name is Myrtle. Shhhh, no one is supposed to know that. She goes by her middle name. But her name fits her very well, as well. The Tree. She is solid and steady, there if anyone needs her, and she's stubborn as a pine that refuses to fall down in a storm.

So here's my question of the day: Do people grow to fit their names? 

How about you? What's your name mean? Does it fit you? There are many sites you can go to to find out meanings. A couple are below. Share your findings with us!
Name Meanings
Meaning of Names
Behind the Name

Jedi Kittens

So, I'm a little late, but here's the post for today. It's one of the most geekily adorable videos ever! And cheesetastic to boot!

And you can't forget, Jedi Kittens Strike Back!

Have you seen any other Jedi Kitten (or other animal) videos that I missed? Share them with us!

The Soul of a Vampire

Happy Friday, everyone! For today's post, I'm going to talk about something that has been nagging me for a very long time. Not just days or months, but years, over a decade. Pretty darn close to two decades, actually. I believe the thought first entered my mind when Mrs. Page, my wonderful high school librarian, introduced me to vampires via Anne Rice's The Vampire Lestat. Yes, I read Lestat before reading Interview with a Vampire. I was hooked immediately. Since then, I've read quite a few vampire stories and each one is unique and different. But a question arose and has been debated for a very long time.  

 

Do vampires have souls? 

Blood Moon is almost ready!

It's a tough question, to be sure, and I believe that everyone's answer to that question is influenced by other values they hold. Personally, I believe they do. I don't think any god would punish someone and damn them to an eternity of hell because of a choice someone else made for them. I believe vampires (and werewolves, for that matter) have a choice in where they end up, regardless of their circumstances and it's their actions and their actions alone that determine what happens at the end of their life. Some may choose to revel in the fear and death that is often associated with vampires, but others will choose a life of peace, or as much of one as they can manage. Of course, vampires are interpreted differently by everyone, and that interpretation will also influence where someone believes a vampire will end up.

So that's my very brief take on the matter. What's yours?

Big Feathery Poop Machines Are Taking Over!

Chickens. One of the most well-known and owned animals in the world. According to Wiki, there were approximately 24 billion (yes, BILLION) in the world in 2003. I'm sure by now there are quite a few more. They seem to be a very common pet nowadays. I know many people who own no other farm animals who have chickens. They're easy animals to take care of, really, and you get meat and eggs from them.

But I hate them. With a passion. But why? Well, I'm here to tell you! In bullet points, no less!

• Chickens are ugly. Sure, there are a couple pretty species, but most of them are just ugly. 
• They're dirty. Chickens poop everywhere. If they're allowed to roam free, they will poop on anything and everything in site. Cars, furniture, golf bags. You name it. If they can perch on it, they can poop on it. They'll even perch on and poop in their food and water dishes. Nasty things.
• They're mean. 95% of the chickens I've met have nasty personalities. Especially the roosters. My aunt is terrified of them because they used to attack her every time she went into the cage. And they follow you around if they know you have food and attack if they see an opportunity to get it. 

On the flip side, I love chicken. Chicken is my favorite thing to eat. And eggs. Yum! It's so versatile and delicious. And plucked chickens are just so cute!

So in honor of my love/hate relationship with chickens, here's a recipe for you. It's called Christmas Chicken, but you can eat it any time of the year.

Christmas Chicken

20 baby carrots

2 small onions, quartered

1 lb red potatoes, chunked

1 orange, cut into wedges

1 3-lb chicken

Olive oil

*Holiday Rub

1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

2. Spread vegetables and orange evenly in roasting pan. Place chicken over vegetables and drizzle with olive oil. Rub oil into and under the skin, then sprinkle with rub. Don't forget to season the cavity! Place some veggies and an orange wedge into the cavity.

3. Place the chicken into the oven. After 15 minutes, lower temp to 375. After another 15 minutes, remove the bird and flip it over. Cook another 15, then flip it back over. Return to oven for last 15 minutes. Check temperature and cook another 15 minutes if necessary.

*Holiday Rub

1 tbsp salt

1 tsp chili powder

½ tsp sugar

½ tsp ground cinnamon

1. Mix all ingredients.

What's In A Day?

Today is Friday the 13th, a day of superstition and fear. It's a day that kids talk about and superstitious folks worry about. But why? Well, no one really knows, but there are some interesting theories out there. Wikipedia goes into great detail, but I'm going to outline the basics below. Read the site for more info.

• The most logical theory for why Friday the 13th is so feared is because 13 is an unlucky number and Friday is considered an unlucky day. Though I must say, whoever decided that clearly wasn't working Monday through Friday. Most people look forward to Fridays now!
• Another popular theory is that hundreds of Knights Templar were arrested on a Friday that happened to be a 13th. 

Interesting facts about Friday the 13th

• Fear of Friday the 13th is friggatriskaidekaphobi.
• Spanish-speaking countries typically worry about Tuesday the 13th, not Friday.
• Italians actually believe the number 13 is lucky. Friday the 17th is their bad day.  

  Happy Friday the 13th, everyone! Don't step on any cracks or walk under ladders!

Fear the black cat! She will cuddle you to death!

 

You're Entitled To Your Beliefs

 As long as you agree with me

There is something that has been bothering me lately. A lot. So much so that I can't sleep at night. We have here in America what we like to refer to as "Freedom of speech". With the prevalence of the internet and other influences, this has stretched throughout the world. People are free to speak their minds and share their thoughts.

But I've noticed a severe lack of this going on. No, the government isn't the issue. It's my fellow humans. If you disagree with someone, a lot of people will make it their duty to pester, strongarm, berate, belittle, or whatever it takes to make you agree with them. It's dangerous to share your opinion these days. I have a friend who recently wrote a blog based on an article she found, and she is receiving some very nasty comments and is actually afraid for her safety. All for sharing her opinion. Most of the blog wasn't even about her opinion. It was about the article, but instead of attacking the article, she is being attacked.

Honestly, sometimes I'm afraid to admit that I'm a Christian, that I believe in God and Jesus Christ, his son. People make some very nasty comments about Christians, generalizations based on a very small handful that do no represent the rest of us. Same goes for politics. Heaven forbid you not agree with what the current popular opinion is in America. Don't agree with gay marriage? You're a horrible awful person who doesn't deserve to speak. And dare to suggest that democracy may not always be the answer? Prepare to be hanged. (That may be another blog post, but we'll see if I have the gonads for it.)

I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make here, because I know most of the people reading this blog are not like those people I described above. They're caring, they are happy to respect others' opinions, and they don't shun someone just because they don't see eye-to-eye on everything. So thank you to those people. And the ones who want to berate me and tear me a new one because I don't agree with you? Thank you for stopping by. Please feel free to find other blogs where they agree with you 100% all the time. Good luck with that.

What Real Dance Auditions Should Be Like

I'm still technically on vacation, so today I'm just going to give you a quick, entertaining video someone showed me. It's hilarious. Kimberly Cole (yeah, I had her look her up too) put out a tweet about auditions and Keith decided to show up. He's my new hero.

Guest Post: Tropes and Discworld

While I'm off enjoying my all-to-short writing retreat,my lovely cousin Josh is going to fill in for me. He's my kindred spirit, nerdy to the core. Treat him like one of your own!

Hello readers of this blog that I've hijacked for the week! I'm Josh and I'm going to be talking to you today about some things you probably don't care much about! Then next week my cousin will go back to telling you why Han Solo is more responsible than you or whatever.

Anyways, I'd like to talk to you about two things: Tropes and the Discworld. One of these things is a tool to help you write, the other is a good series so prolific that if you read a book a day it would still take you over a month to get caught up. Why an I talking about both of them together? Well I'll get to that later. And also, I only have this blog for the one post.

I'll start with Tropes. A trope is a device or convention that is commonly used in popular media that writers rely on because we as an audience have had enough experiences with the trope to know what the writer expects us to feel. Its important to know that a trope is NOT a cliché, although a lot of clichés are tropes. If you want to do your own research I would suggest checking out TV Tropes. (Warning: I take no responsibility to the months of life that may or not be wasted if you click that link and be cautioned that TV Tropes will ruin your life.

For an example a common trope is Chekhov's Gun. Chekhov's Gun is when something is mentioned in passing early on in a story and then forgotten, then later on it becomes very important. For example, in the Firefly episode 'Our Mrs. Reynolds' Jayne offers his gun 'Vera' to Mal early on, and we write it off as a funny scene. Then near the end of the episode the plot requires a big gun, and Jayne busts out Vera to save the day. Although note that a Chekhov's Gun doesn't have to be (and usually isn't) actually a gun.

Now, I mentioned this but I'll say again a trope is not a cliché. And, to that extent, Tropes are Tools. If you are browsing TV Tropes and find something that you say to yourself 'I did that in my story!' then that's not necessarily a bad thing. Tropes are useful to guide the audiences expectations, and a master can subvert tropes to make a story so much more satisfying.

Which brings us to the Discworld. For those who don't know the Discworld is a long standing book series by Sir Terry Pratchett, which as of right now has thirty nine books in it. I've read every single one at least twice. No lie; I'm considering a Discworld tattoo.

The Discworld books are a parody of fantasy novels. I don't like the word parody, to me parody sounds like a cheaply put out book made for a quick laugh without too much thought. The Discworld is not that. The Discworld novels are far more thoughtful than most 'serious' fantasy novels I've read, they don't necessarily have a lighthearted tone, and they are some of the best stories you'll ever read.

For a quick summary: The Discworld is a flat planet or 'Disc' which sits on the back of four giant elephants which in turn stand on the back of a massive turtle flying through space. Its a world that requires magic to function and seems to rely on common sense rather than logic to guide how events take place.

So, coming to my point: Why did I include both Tropes and the Discworld in this blog post? Because the Discworld novels are so very very good at subverting, double subverting, downplaying, playing for laughs, inverting, averting, and even playing straight tropes. The series spawned its own wiki... years before wikis were invented.

So a common trope is to have magic users by their nature be weaker and squishier than knights in shining armor. In most media that's because having a huge hulking man with arms like tree trunks ALSO be able to throw a fireball at you hardly seems fair. On the Discworld the conventions of magic are designed so that Wizards become too lazy to go out and do things and instead prefer to spend their tenure at the Unseen university eating 10 square meals a day and taking naps in between. The university was designed that way to keep wizards from destroying the universe.

Another example is the million to one chance. It's accepted that the phrase 'Million to one' means you have one chance in a million to actually succeed. It's also accepted that if someone in a story says something is a million to one chance... it's probably going to happen anyways. On the Discworld people recognize that million to one chances crop up nine times out of ten. To the point that in an early book the heroes actually spend time making the task they are trying to do harder just so it will become a million to one chance (It turns out they had a 0% chance to do what they were trying to anyways, but just go read Guards! Guards! if you are curious).

So that's my soapbox anyways. If you are a Discworld fan, a Troper, or just want to tell me how stupid a Discworld tattoo sounds to you, feel free to leave a comment. Sam will be back next week to talk to you about stuff you actually care about again. Peace out.

 Joshua Marvin is a professional slacker who enjoys spending far too much time on the internet, not writing a novel, and forcing his fiancée into playing board games with him.