Guest Post: A Case for Vampires and Zombies

This week's guest post comes from the lovely Barbara McDowell.



I’ve got a thing for vampires and zombies. Anything vampire and zombie-related and I’m there…movies, books and TV shows. The first glimpses of the blood-suckers came from the 1970’s Saturday afternoon B Movies that played when a Godzilla knock-off wasn’t on.

The theme of these flicks was romantic, older male vampire wanders into city/village area and starts seducing and making a horde of female vampire brides. As a twist, the brides would then sometimes start a feeding frenzy until the movie’s hero hunted down the head vampire to save everyone’s souls. Insert cheesy music, darkly lit scenes and even dubbing for English-speaking voices. Yet I would watch because the idea of someone being able to have that much psychic pull on another was fascinating.

I next remember reading Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot circa fourth grade and being enraptured. Even though his take on the famous lore was quite violent and not romanticized in the least, I wanted to see the town first hand and understand what made the creatures tick. Vampires in King’s hands were conniving and vicious predators.

For most of us, the first introduction to modern zombies was in the George Romero classic Night of the Living Dead.

One moment, it is just a sunny, happy day. The next there are instinct driven, hungry humans lurching about with chomping teeth. How awful (and also exciting) to be chased through a cemetery by such slow-moving terror! Of higher interest is Romero’s treatment in the movie—as well as some of his subsequent films—of how the characters react both to the terror and working with each other to survive. The lack of concrete information or explanations from the government, the mistrust and backbiting in the hideout home and even frozen fear all play out as a testament to the human condition.

Now for dealing with zombies, I’m talking pure zombies and not the rage or virus filled models of the new millennium. Those virus versions are just nasty little critters. Yes, I’m still a little disgruntled on the switch up of skills they were allowed in the Dawn of the Dead remake, though it was freaky to see how fast the buggers could go from a doorway to hopping onto the hood of a car. I’d be doomed. So if I ran up on a zombie in the alley I’d pretty much need a Romero stagger one to know what I was dealing with. I see the lurching zombie fellah coming and I know to turn and dart the other way.

And that, I think, is where a core of my interest lies. Maybe my affection is for the known expectations. Bottom line is that with vampires and zombies, you know what you are working with. Both want to bite your bits. Even the so-called Twilight-era romance vamps, who profess odes of love and affection, still want to bite you. Listen to the loving coos, but don’t get it twisted. The thirst is all-encompassing and will get you bit.

I once heard a presenter say that as he gets older, he finds he can’t stand people. I’m not yet into that boat, but do see that my tolerance for drama has lessened. “Monsters” to me are those traipsing around putting their emotional gook onto everyone else. There was even the coinage of the phrase “emotional vampire” for those hapless souls who will suck your last will to live down into their spiral to hell. These are the ones I’d trip as we ran from the zombies.

Other people are wired so quick triggered that you don’t know what you are going to get. A simple hello can turn into a rant about all their perceived evils in the world. Ask about a status of a project and risk witnessing the face of someone considering pouncing on you for having the gall to follow-up. Flick to change lanes and watch five cars purposefully speed up with rage and glee. And don’t get me started on the drama criers. You cry because of being in a truly emotional place, I get it. You cry every day seeking some level of sympathy or credit from me, good luck with that.

Not so with the creatures of my dreams. While the zombies will eventually wander off and starve, I guess the vampires, if lucky, have centuries to get their emotions together.

What spurs your love for the horror genre’s creatures? Do you have a love for other monsters or supernatural beings? What are your thoughts on our levels of tolerance and patience as we get older?

By day, Barbara McDowell works in training and development, managing the
educational needs and course development for the staff of a regional accounting firm.
In the depths of the night, she is a crafter of stories birthed with dark, human themes.
Suspense at each corner turned. Horror sometimes waiting at the end. Primarily a short
story writer, Barbara has recently started her first novel. A lover of coffee, cats, crime
dramas, crochet, conspiracy theories and chocolate, Barbara can be found blogging at
http://writenowlife.wordpress.com/ or tweeting at @BMcDowellOH.

Ouch!

It's Sunday, which means more Stupid Youtube vidoes! This week, we have an old clip from David Letterman. Gotta love this guy's mustache.

What's your favorite stupid human trick?

Like Literally Whatever

The English language is a wondrous thing full of beautiful and useful words (I should know. I am a writer, after all). But every now and again you run into words that get overused. Every year, the Marist College Institute for Public Opinion publishes the most annoying words used in daily conversation.

So what's the most annoying word of 2011?

Whatever took the top spot with 38% of the votes. Like came in second at 20%. Others in the category were "you know", "just sayin'" and "seriously."

There are some others I think should be on that list.

Literally: This one is overused and misused horribly. Literally means that it really truly happened, but most people use it in place of figuratively. 
Ex: Mom's head literally exploded when she saw the mess the dog left in the living room.If mom's head literally exploded, that would definitely be a mess. 

I know, right?: This is the one I'm most guilty of, and I hate that I use it so much, but I can't seem to stop myself.  

To be honest: I use this one a lot also, which makes no sense because I'm usually being honest before that, too.

Not to be mean or anything, but... If you have to preface with this, you probably shouldn't say what you're about to say. Just sayin'. ;)

So what are your pet conversation filler peeves? Are they on the list? Do you tend to use them, even though you hate them?

Lady Gaga: Psycho or Genius?

Lady Gaga is one of those people whose name strikes a chord with everyone. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not so good. She's known for her over-the-top outfits and her off-the-wall comments. I must admit, I don't really listen to her music very often, but when I do, there is no doubt that the woman is talented. I had been avoiding her, since she seemed so weird, but then I saw her perform on the Grammies and thought to myself "Dang, that woman has talent."

I think Lady Gaga (Stefanie to those who knew her 'before') is actually a genius.There's not a word that comes out of her mouth that she doesn't think about beforehand. I remember watching her on 60 Minutes or some such show and she was very coy and provocative, inciting cringes from her interviewer. It was exactly what he (and the fans watching the show) wanted from her at that point. Then I saw her later on the Graham Norton show and she was hilarious. She has an excellent sense of humor and seems like she'd be a lot of fun to hang around with.The clip below is 15 minutes long, so be forewarned if you're short on time. But it shows how cool she really is. (It also has Gwyneth Paltrow, who I used to dislike but has grown on me slowly since Royal Tenenbaums, and Geoffrey Rush, who is just plain awesome.)

And of course, we can't forget the outfits. They're so crazy and creative, you can't help but look (and love. Some of them are pretty freaking awesome).

Courtesy of Beth77 Flickr.com

So here I am, a Lady Gaga convert. What do you think? Is she a genius? Or do you think she's just plain nuts?

And I'm going to leave you with not Lady Gaga, but a cover of Bad Romance by Joseph Gordon Levitt. Warning: He swears a bit, but it's an awesome performance. This boy is so dreamy.

The Dreaded Fourth Year

I hate politics. I always have. Well, since high school when I thought I wanted to be a lawyer and took a law and government class that was half a day for the entire year. I knew within a week that I hated it, but was stuck. Since then, I avoid politics like they're the plague. There are three things I don't like to discuss with people most of the time: politics, religion, and ebook prices. Very heated issues and I'm not one who likes to debate things.

So as I'm sure you can tell, every fourth year is torture for me. All the television, radio, and newspaper talk about are politics. Who's doing what wrong, what scandal from a decade ago someone was involved in, all that crap. Drives me bonkers.

There are two things that make me hate politics. First and foremost, you can't express an opinion without someone berating you and telling you you're wrong (it's an opinion. Opinions can't be wrong). And second, it seems the main strategy to get elected is to make yourself seem less bad than your opponent.

The first problem I can't change. The only way to avoid that is to refuse to discuss the issues and keep my opinions to myself. The second problem baffles me, though. I'm a lazy American, and I'm not the only one out there. With all the money spent on commercials and stuff, you'd think they'd want to use their 30 seconds to tell you what exactly they're going to do to make life better. I'm not going to go out and do research (please don't yell at me about it. I've heard it enough and I'm old enough to make my own decisions on the matter). It's their job to win me over, and blasting their opponent is not the way to do it.

I do vote, on occasion, when someone makes it easy for me to like them. That's what I want: Don't tell me why I shouldn't like the other guy. Tell me why I should like you. Is it really so hard?

/rantoff

All Your Life

My brain is a little foggy from a cold this week, so I'm going to take the easy way out today and post a video of one of my current favorite songs instead of trying to come up with something witty to say. The Band Perry is one of the better new country acts out there, IMO. They haven't gone too far over to the pop spectrum like some and I've yet to find a song from them I don't like. Enjoy!

Here I Come To Save The Day!

I'm going to springboard off Tuesday's Give Me Fire or Give Me Death and keep discussing superheroes. I love superheroes, but really, who doesn't? They're awesome. They get to do the things we always wanted to do but never could. Most of them have crazy powers and risk their lives for the greater good.

There are the classic superheroes, like Spiderman, Batman, Superman. Everyone has heard those names and recognizes the significance behind them. When I was growing up, we lived in a large farmhouse (where I still am) with much of my extended family. One of those people was my uncle. I still remember a poster he had on his wall. It was from the old Superman show, depicting a baby Superman lifting a truck. (Took a bit, but I actually found the picture)

That may have been my first experience with superheroes. Since then, many more have crossed my path through movies, comics, television, books, and any other media they can sneak into, but one still sits firmly in my mind. No, it's not Superman.

Mighty Mouse is indelibly etched in my brain as the most awesomest superhero ever. I would come home from school and plop myself in front of the television for half an hour of the best flying mouse the world has ever seen. He may well have been my first animation crush (but that's another blog post).

What is the first memory you have of superheroes? Who is your favorite? Do you have a least favorite?
*All images borrowed from Wiki sites*

Give Me Fire or Give Me Death!

Fire, the ultimate weapon. If I could have any superpower at all, it would be shooting balls of flame from my hands. That is all I have ever wanted to be able to do. I can't remember where I first heard of such a superpower, but almost all of my characters on City of Heroes were pyrokenetic. And Liz Sherman from Hellboy kicks major butt.

So what is your superpower? Fire? Ice? Flying? X-ray vision?

Walk Away by Amy Duncan

If you have never heard of Amy Duncan, you're totally missing out. This woman has an amazing voice and her vocal range is crazy. Walk Away is one of my favorite songs and I try to live by the chorus: Be true to yourself and everything will come right.

Twilight Through The Ages

My cousin linked me this post and it was just too funny not to share. It is "If Famous Writers Had Written Twilight." I'll let you go read the actual post yourself, but someone in the comments posted a Twilight by Dr. Seuss poem, and it was so awesome, I can't make you wait.


Twilight, by Dr. Seuss

Jake likes a girl. Her name is Bella.
Bella likes a different fella.

See this vamp? This is Ed.
Ed is pale. Ed is dead.

Ed saved Bella from a van.
Ed must be a special man.

Ed won't kill boys. He won't kill girls.
Ed gets fed on deer and squirrels.

This is James. He's a tracker.
He's a sort of vamp attacker.

James hunts Bella for a thrill.
Will Ed kill him? Yes, he will.

But James gave her a little bite.
Will she be a vamp? She might!

Edward fixes Bella's cut.
She won't be a vampire.
But...

She becomes one. Read some more.
She's a vampire in book 4.

Awesome, no? Do you know of any other Twilight parodies? Maybe some other books? Share your funnies with us all!

5 Best Movies

To follow up with my post last week about the five worst movies I've ever seen, I figured we'd start the year off right on a positive note. The following are my absolutely positively most favoritest movies ever.

1. Pan's Labyrinth (El Laberinto del Fauno)

This is far and away my favorite movie. If someone asks me my favorite movie, it's the first to pop into my head. The imagery is amazing, the acting is exceptional (especially by the 11-year-old Ivana  Baquero), and the story draws you in from the very beginning. Don't be fooled, though. This isn't a children's tale. Far from it. There's one quote in the movie from Ofelia's mother, something along the lines "This isn't like one of your fairy tales." If only the woman knew that Ofelia's fairy tales were far scarier than real life. The great thing about this movie is it has you wondering the entire time if it's all in Ofelia's head, or if she really is experiencing these things. It's a Spanish movie, so there are subtitles, but I tend to turn them on for all movies, so it doesn't bother me.

2. Amelie

 This movie is a very close second. I fell in love with Audrey Tautou in Amelie. It's about a quirky young woman who had a very secluded childhood trying to find love in a tough world. All of the characters are wonderful and the acting is superb. The story even follows some of the quirks of the minor side characters and it is such a good movie. There are a few parts early in the movie that might turn people off (a naked pregnant woman and Amelie counting how many people are having orgasms), but for the most part, those are really the only questionable spots. Oh, and her crush works in a sex shop. But I think the story is good enough to make those parts overlookable. It requires subtitles if you're not fluent in French, but I've learned a few new phrases by watching this movie so many times. 

3. V for Vendetta

 Love love love this movie. The music score is phenomenal, the acting superb, the story scarily realistic. It focuses on the not-so-distant future and makes you question whether the world really could get to that point after all the progress we've made. V's speeches are a joy to listen to and I would give this movie the most quotable award. My favorite quote? 

It seems strange that my life should end in such a terrible place, but for three years I had roses and apologized to no one. I shall die here. Every inch of me shall perish. Every inch, but one. An inch. It is small and it is fragile and it is the only thing in the world worth having. We must never lose it or give it away. We must NEVER let them take it from us. I hope that whoever you are, you escape this place. I hope that the worlds turns, and that things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you.

And "Our integrity sells for so little, but it is all we really have. It is the very last inch of us, but within that inch, we are free."

4. Juno

 A fun, quirky movie about a sixteen-year-old who makes a big mistake. I like this movie because it gives a different view to the whole "pregnant teenager" debacle. There is no major drama from her parents, no one tells her she's a sinner, no one treats her like she's the worst person in the world for making a stupid mistake. She knows immediately that there is no way she could raise a child, so she goes in search of the perfect adoptive couple. Where does she find them? The Pennysaver, of course. Things aren't all sunshine and daffodils, though, and she runs into a lot of emotional trials along the way. I tend to cry every time at this movie. This is where I fell in love with Ellen Page (who has turned into one of my girl crushes, along with Emily Blunt and Kate Beckinsale) and Michael Cera.

5. Garden State

Written and directed by Zach Braff, who played JD on Scrubs. There is a lot of humor in this movie, but it's not slapstick humor like he normally does. It's more dark and sarcastic. It's also another Natalie Portman movie. She's absolutely fantastic here and I love her character. She lies all the time, about pretty much everything. "Don't try to kidnap me or anything, because my uncle's a bounty hunter and he could have you tracked and killed." There are a lot of questionable parts, like the massive amounts of drug use, but if you can look past those to the real heart of the movie, you'll thoroughly enjoy it. Plus, the soundtrack is great.

Honorable Mentions
The last two movies in my top five tend to alternate based on what kind of mood I'm in. Here are the others that sneak into those spots.

Visually stunning, even without 3D, and the storyline, though generic, isn't bad at all. I'm afraid that the sequel will go the way of Matrix, however, where the first movie was so amazing, the rest just couldn't compare. Plus, this movie has Stephen Lang, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez, and Giovanni Ribisi. How could it not be awesome?

The CGI here is to die for. It's so well done and again, I love the story. This movie has gotten a lot of flack, and to be honest, I hated it the first time I watched it. But then I watched it again, and fell in love. It's just so well done and really, who doesn't love digitally enhanced men in speedos?

I've already discussed my love for Tank Girl in another post. It's Tank Girl. What more needs to be said aside from puh-puh-puh-pow!!?



So what are your favorite movies of all time?

Happy New Year!

2011 is over (which is both good and bad) and 2012 has arrived! I will not be making any resolutions this year. Resolutions, while extremely popular, tend to set people up for defeat. You make a list (lose weight, exercise more, eat less candy, spend less money) and by the time you take stock 356 days later, you realize those resolutions lasted all of a week.

Scratch that. I will make one resolution. I resolve to enjoy life more and stop fretting about what others think I should be doing with my life. There. My resolution is made. I am going to live this year for me, and not for everyone else.

So to kick it off, here are my plans for the near future.

1. Write Jane #6.
2. Finish Gaia's Revenge, a sci-fi novel revolving around a spaceship pilot who lands an odd job that gets him into more trouble than he ever could have imagined (and he can imagine a lot).
3. Plot a new book about either zombie werewolves or a bodyguard to the supernatural.

Happy New Year, everyone! May this year treat you better than the last!